Melody Holley

This past Sunday, one of the things that stuck out in Pastor Rays teaching is how in the Garden Of Eden God creates Adam to tend the land. He then created Eve to build a relationship with Adam. That was Eve’s purpose: to form a relationship. That is what we women were designed to do is form relationships. It was built into our being.  When I was in a relationship for five years I had no friends. I revolved my entire life around the love of my life and made myself as convenient for him as possible. The only friend I had was my sister in law Mollie, which she was obligated to be my friend so that didn’t really count. Even then, I would often times choose my lover over her.  Going through a divorce was a sink or swim moment. I developed one of my best friends, Kaitlyn. We had been roommates for nearly 3 years and rarely held a conversation, but when things fell apart she sat me down and came up with a plan A, B and C and has been my back bone ever since.  She was my first tr...

Isaiah 40:31 - But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint   Lately, I have felt weak. For the whole month of October I struggled. This verse has been on my computer screen at work every single day so I see it Monday through Friday for 8 hours a day. I have also been listening to exactly three worship songs, Oceans by Hillsongs, Great are You Lord, and Surrounded. I listen to them on repeat to get me through the work day. I get into it to. My coworkers probably think I am nuts. Haha. I hold on to Gods promise. I hold on to it with my pinky finger if I have to, and this weekend I had a major breakthrough.   I had what they call confirmation. I don’t know if they actually call it that. That is just what I am calling it. I had confirmation from God that I am exactly where I should be, doing exactly what I should be doing. I had a moment. I had an experien...

We all have feelings. We all have emotions. Some run deeper than other and some are just surface level ideologies that you can learn to compartmentalize into nice little neat boxes and forget about for a while. What happens when those feeling overwhelm us and we can’t understand how to cope with them? What happens when we sink so low that we feel abandoned by God? What do we do then? How do we deal with our emotions without allowing them to control us? How do we allow ourselves to properly feel and let go while still praising our creator? Let’s take a close look at the story of Joseph. Joseph was loved by his father because he was the first born of the woman he worked so hard to marry Rachel.  Out of 12 brothers, he was the favorite. Because he was the favorite, his brothers were jealous. Then one day, Joseph told his brothers about a dream he had about his brothers bowing down to him. This put his brothers a little over the edge. He then told his brothers another dream about ...

What are your values and boundaries? Should we create boundaries? How do we create boundaries? How do we value ourselves? These are all very good questions that I hope I can help to clarify Jeremiah 5:22 “Have you no respect for me? Why don’t you tremble in my presence? I, the Lord define the ocean’s sandy shoreline as an everlasting boundary that the waters cannot cross. The waves may toss and roar but they can never pass the boundary I set.” Boundaries. What is a boundary? Webster defines boundary as something that indicates or fixes a limit or extent. In that verse God set His limit with the Israelites. He called them out and asked them, why are you crossing my boundary that I have placed before you? I have boundaries set in place and you have directly gone against them. Why? In Jeremiah 4:18 God says “Your own action have brought this upon you. This punishment is bitter, piercing you to the heart.” So not only did God place boundaries, he also said there were consequen...

I wrote this piece 4 years ago. I didn’t know it would plant the seed of where my faith stands now. I might not be the most spiritual or faithful believer. Some might even say I'm skeptic. Hell, I will admit that I feel as if most that attend church are complete hypocrites. But despite my skepticism and despite the hypocrisy that may or may not exist, when a church comes together and exists in unity, it is a beautiful thing. I say this as I sit in church. Moments after the time of worship has ended, I sit here touched. Not by the harmonizing symphony of music, nor by impact from words any one has spoken. I am touched by the fact that the church is a place that childishness can be restored. Not the whiny portions of annoying insolence but the best aspects of childhood. The church is a place where grown men can cry. A place where grown women can go up to the front and dance like a child. The church that I attend is a place that restores freedom from the social script we all...

When faced with a stressful situation our natural response is to fight or flight. We either seek revenge or we flee the situation. Revenge is a worldly conduct where if someone hurts you, naturally you want to get even and retaliate – you get even. There is an entire series dedicated to Revenge. The other option is to run away and seek comfort and run to safety and hide. You toss everything to the way side and you run far, far away. Why do we fight or flight? Because our brain produces a physiological response that makes our hearts beat faster and our palms sweaty and our minds race with fear and we have this survival of the fittest desperate mentality that screams at us that we must react or something detrimental to our existence is going to take place if we don’t respond. So we do. When you become a Christian, there is a third response. To respond with love. To pour out grace on the situation like Jesus poured out His grace on us. Acts 16:25-30 talks about when Paul was in j...

I wrote this blog maybe 5 years ago? I wasn’t medicated then. It is difficult now to read because I realize I do fit in and I am normal and I am a part of society. Back then I felt so isolated and so alone because I wasn’t medicated. I had so many emotions I couldn’t explain or control. There is hope if you get help. It is a process, a very slow process but it is so worth it to feel connected and supported. We all have to start somewhere and the first step is realizing you have a problem. Here is the post: Normal has such a high standard. Especially when you've been on the outside looking in and trying to fit in your whole life. When I was 5 years old, I looked at my dad and said to him "Daddy, when I grow up I want to be a white girl." This had nothing to do with one race being better than another. It had everything to do with the fact that all of my cousins(on my dads side) were white, and I just wanted to fit in. All my life, I have just wanted to fit in. Abou...

Jonah is a book that you would miss if you didn’t know it was there. Some people forget that it’s even a book, they say it’s just a story. I love Jonah because God spoke to him and gave him direction and in Jonah 1:3 it says “But Jonah got up and went in the opposite direction to get away from the Lord. He bought a ticket to the port of Joppa, where he found a ship leaving for Tarshish. He bought a ticket and went on board, hoping to escape the Lord by sailing to Tarshish”   When I read that, I laughed so hard because that is the story of my life. God spoke in my life and I got up and I went the opposite direction. Jonah bought a ticket to sail somewhere else to escape God! He didn’t just disobey God, he ran. And so did I. I said “Oh no God, do not use me, I am fleeing and running out of here” And I did. God has a funny way of working. For Jonah, God caused a violent storm to occur and the people on board the ship cast lots to see who made God angry and found it was Jonah,...

I wrote this piece maybe 10 years ago? Back in my Nick days ;) I just love how much this piece meant to me at the time when I really wanted to start an inspirational blog. I didn’t know then what would happen was transformation and character building. And now I can actually blog from a whole different perspective. Both a biblical perspective when I feel led to, and a worldly perspective when I feel compelled to. Here it is:   A couple of months ago, after a nice run around a nice little historic town just off campus, a friend and I decided to cool off with a nice cold tea from the starbucks on the corner. We sat there catching our breaths, and sipping our refreshing tea, in silence, for quite some time. It was peaceful, serene. It granted me a moment of clarity. I had not a thing in mind. I wasn't worrying about the upcoming exams. I wasn't muddling in the constant sludge of nothingness that some may call my love life. I simply was. I was in the present moment, and t...

Disclaimer: I love God and I have a mental illness.   1 Kings 3:9 “Give me an understanding heart so that I can govern your people well and know the difference between right and wrong. For who by himself is able to govern this great people of yours?”   I want to write about how deeply and passionately I love God but how I have a mental illness and how I can still serve God while having a mental illness. It is such a taboo topic and it is something that is not discussed in church and it is something that a lot of Christians claim God can heal and I believe that I am healed because of the doctors God provided me and because the wisdom he has given my parents and my doctors and me to discover the correct medicine so that I can lead a normal life. So therefor I am healed by God but not in the normal Christian sense. I am healed by God through modern day technology. So therefor I serve God and I take medicine because I have a mental illness. I am presenting a very taboo to...