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Fight or Flight or Love?


When faced with a stressful situation our natural response is to fight or flight. We either seek revenge or we flee the situation. Revenge is a worldly conduct where if someone hurts you, naturally you want to get even and retaliate – you get even. There is an entire series dedicated to Revenge. The other option is to run away and seek comfort and run to safety and hide. You toss everything to the way side and you run far, far away.



Why do we fight or flight? Because our brain produces a physiological response that makes our hearts beat faster and our palms sweaty and our minds race with fear and we have this survival of the fittest desperate mentality that screams at us that we must react or something detrimental to our existence is going to take place if we don’t respond. So we do.



When you become a Christian, there is a third response. To respond with love. To pour out grace on the situation like Jesus poured out His grace on us. Acts 16:25-30 talks about when Paul was in jail and an earthquake shook the jail cells open and the prison guard drew his sword to kill himself and in verse 28 it says “Paul shouted to him ‘Stop! Don’t kill yourself! We are all here!”



That is a moment that Paul could have dominated the situation with fight or flight but responded with love. He poured out his compassion because he once received compassion. Paul, once knows as Saul, was blind for 3 days and then he was healed by the grace of God. So because he received grace he poured out grace.



When we face stressful situations in our lives, especially when it is a conflict that deals with another person who holds a significant place of value, we should not respond with fight or flight. We should respond with love, compassion and grace.



Romans 12: 17-20 says “Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God, for the scripture say



“I will take revenge

I will pay them back,”

Says the Lord



Instead, If your enemies are hungry, feed them, if they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads, don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.”



Not many will understand why I conduct my life the way I do. Most people see me and say that I am a door mat, or that I get walked all over. But I assure you I don’t. I just understand the sovereignty of God, and I understand that He is the one who will take care of the rest. I do not believe in treating people with the survival of the fittest mentality. I wish good on everyone.



Give everyone the best opportunity they can have to be the best they can be and don’t short change them. Give them all you have to give and don’t respond with the fight or flight mentality because you are reacting to a stressful situation. Respond with grace, love and compassion.



I love the story of Joseph and how he was given away by his own brothers and yet he gave his entire family a place to live when he became the right hand of the Pharaoh. Was he a door mat because he gave his brothers and father a place to live? Was he being walked all over? He was definitely experiencing fight or flight. In the bible it says he had to go in the other room to express his emotions. I don’t believe he was a door mat or walked all over, I just believe he understood the grace of God, and he gave the same grace he was given to his brothers and father.



Even in the book of Acts, right before Stephen was stoned to death, the last words that came out of his mouth were “Don’t charge them with this sin.” What amazing grace.



1 Corinthians 10:23-24 says “You say “I am allowed to do anything”- but not everything is good for you. You say “I am allowed to do anything” – but not everything is beneficial. Don’t be concerned for your own good but for the good of others.”



You have the free will to choose, fight-flight-or love. Which will you choose?

 

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