Why I Am Writing This

Disclaimer: I love God and I have a mental illness.

1 Kings 3:9 “Give me an understanding heart so that I can govern your people well and know the difference between right and wrong. For who by himself is able to govern this great people of yours?”

I want to write about how deeply and passionately I love God but how I have a mental illness and how I can still serve God while having a mental illness. It is such a taboo topic and it is something that is not discussed in church and it is something that a lot of Christians claim God can heal and I believe that I am healed because of the doctors God provided me and because the wisdom he has given my parents and my doctors and me to discover the correct medicine so that I can lead a normal life. So therefor I am healed by God but not in the normal Christian sense. I am healed by God through modern day technology. So therefor I serve God and I take medicine because I have a mental illness. I am presenting a very taboo topic, one that will be HIGHLY debated but through reading the bible I believe I can come up with a very compelling argument, but I will have to spend hours upon hours seeking God for wisdom and praying for it.

So God, please give me an understanding heart to speak to nations that I may start this journey with good intentions and that I may seek your glory and I may testify according to your word and your truth that others may understand you more and seek you more because there are others like me who love you desperately but are mentally ill and I want them to see that it’s ok to have a mental illness and chase after you too.

Comments

Mad

I am sitting here watching Daniel the Tiger and they are singing a song called “Mad” and one thing that I am learning now that I didn’t know then is that it’s ok to be mad at some one. I only used to get mad at inanimate objects because they didn’t have any feelings and I am that sensitive of a person that I knew that they couldn’t get hurt so I would take my feelings of anger out on things not people. I never wanted to hurt a persons feelings because I knew how it felt to be hurt by anger and I didn’t want to make someone feel how I felt. It’s ok to be mad at people. This is how I always would be: You don’t want to walk around being a victim all the time. You don’t want to walk around being hurt all the time. Its ok to be angry. But. And there’s a huge but! It’s not cool to be cruel. Be angry BUT use your anger and let it be a cathartic release to catalyst you into something amazing such as.... painting, sports, music, running. Anything. Something. It’s power. Let it ...

Clarity

I have been a Lone Ranger for quite some time and by that I mean, I haven’t been reading my Bible like I should. I know God is with me. I know His grace covers and protects me, and I know He is sovereign but I have been taking it for granted. I went to my home church this morning. I’ve been going to River Oak but I decided to go to my home church with my mom this morning. The message really spoke to me. Pastor Ray said basically that it’s easy to understand from an outside perspective and make a judgment call but unless you know the context of the situation you don’t understand the concept of the reality of the situation. He preached out of John 4 where Jesus had to go through Samaria which was basically going through a land of the most hated people to get to Galilee. There he met a Samaritan woman by the well who had been married 5 times and living with a man. And he asked her for water. And she was surprised. Then Jesus said if she only knew the gift God had for her...

Feelings

We all have feelings. We all have emotions. Some run deeper than other and some are just surface level ideologies that you can learn to compartmentalize into nice little neat boxes and forget about for a while. What happens when those feeling overwhelm us and we can’t understand how to cope with them? What happens when we sink so low that we feel abandoned by God? What do we do then? How do we deal with our emotions without allowing them to control us? How do we allow ourselves to properly feel and let go while still praising our creator? Let’s take a close look at the story of Joseph. Joseph was loved by his father because he was the first born of the woman he worked so hard to marry Rachel. Out of 12 brothers, he was the favorite. Because he was the favorite, his brothers were jealous. Then one day, Joseph told his brothers about a dream he had about his brothers bowing down to him. This put his brothers a little over the edge. He then told his brothers another dream about ...

Melody Holley

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