It's OK to Not be OK

Jonah is a book that you would miss if you didn’t know it was there. Some people forget that it’s even a book, they say it’s just a story. I love Jonah because God spoke to him and gave him direction and in Jonah 1:3 it says “But Jonah got up and went in the opposite direction to get away from the Lord. He bought a ticket to the port of Joppa, where he found a ship leaving for Tarshish. He bought a ticket and went on board, hoping to escape the Lord by sailing to Tarshish”

 

When I read that, I laughed so hard because that is the story of my life. God spoke in my life and I got up and I went the opposite direction. Jonah bought a ticket to sail somewhere else to escape God! He didn’t just disobey God, he ran. And so did I. I said “Oh no God, do not use me, I am fleeing and running out of here” And I did.



God has a funny way of working. For Jonah, God caused a violent storm to occur and the people on board the ship cast lots to see who made God angry and found it was Jonah, so Jonah volunteered to be thrown over sea where a great big fish swallowed him. I can get so much deeper into this story, but for now we will stay with basic theology. Jonah ran from God but God called him and found him and had his hand on him the entire time.



That is how it has been in my life. Since 2010 I have been deliberately running from God, yet God’s hand has always been upon me and God has always had a plan and purpose for my life. Since 2010 I have been seeking my own path and buying my own tickets to escape the purpose God has set for my life, yet God found me and here I am today. He found me at a gas station in Kings Fork, Virginia and used a man in the military to rescue me from myself in 2016 and it has been a slow process becoming the person I am today.



The good news? It’s ok to not be ok! God will meet you right where you are at in any circumstance you are at! God literally met Jonah in the belly of a fish after Jonah deliberately ran away!



In order to change we must be a catalyst for change. Do you want change? Change starts with you. I literally started with crawling first, then baby steps, then bigger steps, and now I am running the race. It was a process and it took some time but you can start now.

Romans 8:24-25 says “If we already have something we don’t need to hope for it. But if we look forward to something we don’t yet have we must patiently wait and confidently”



If you want it, you can have it, but it is a process. How can you help yourself?

First it starts with acceptance. Accept yourself just as you are. With all of your flaws. Accept everything about yourself, and how beautifully God has designed you. Yes, there are things that need to be changed but God will meet you half way and help you with that. But accept yourself with what you have.



Paul said in 1 Corinthians 2:1-5 "When I first came to you, dear brothers and sisters, I didn't use lofty words and impressive wisdom to tell you God's secret plan. For I decided while I was with you I would forget everything except Jesus Christ, the one who was crucified. I came to you in weakness-timid and trembling. And my message and my preaching were very plain. Rather than using clever and persuasive speeches, I relied on the power of the Holy Spirit. I did this so you would trust not in human wisdom but in the power of God."



I have Bipolar Disorder. I needed to accept that. It was a very hard pill to swallow. There is a lot of stigma attached to it and a lot of Christians believe if you have a mental illness you need the demons casted out of you. That is not true. God designed me beautifully and flawlessly. My brain is just different than yours.



If you have a mental illness, fight for a good doctor. Don’t just accept the first doctor you go to. They may not be in your best interest. Fight for one who fights for you. I have a doctor who I can e-mail and will e-mail me back within 24 hours at no charge because she honestly cares about my well-being. There are a lot of doctors who only seek money. Or are only guessing and giving prescriptions. Don’t just dumbly take what’s given to you. Do your research. Be your own advocate.



Go to therapy and find a good therapist. You will know in the first 5 minutes whether you like your therapist or not. You pay them to share your life with them, if you don’t feel like you can, then fire them and get a new one. A good therapist is such a valuable resource. My therapist is one of the best things I could have done for myself.



Read the bible. Not because I am hyper religious. I am not. I go to church. I read the bible. The bible is actually filled with so much wisdom. There are so many stories in there that are not tainted by today’s politics and trash TV or Facebook drama. Its foundational truth that you can rest assured has stood the test of time for 2020 years and will in years to come.



If you are struggling emotionally, filter what you see and hear and limit yourself to positive things. When I am having a bad day I only Pinterest positive quotes that will uplift me. I only YouTube inspirational things like TedTalks. I do not turn on the latest dramatic show to sway my emotions one way or the other. You don’t realize the impact that the things you hear and see can have on your emotions until you start filtering them out and see what a difference it makes in your life.



Lastly, to help yourself, build a support system. It took me months to build a solid support system. And this means I had to go beyond my comfort zone and invest my time in people and do some friendship dating and a lot of people thought I was crazy for scheduling friendship dates every lunch and night of the week. Out of that, I have solid friends who would literally give me the shirt off their back, and I would do the same for them. Out of that also came many acquaintances who are becoming solid friends too. My support system is only growing and it is the best feeling.



Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 tells us "Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple braided cord is not easily broken."



Change is going to stretch you and it is going to feel awkward and it is going to hurt. Ephesians 4:21-24 says "Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from Him, throw off your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God- truly righteous and holy." Transformation is good. So, if you take this advice get ready for your life to radically change for the better!



Listen to Gods promise in Jeremiah 31:4-5

"I will rebuild you, my virgin Israel.

You will again be happy

And dance merrily with your

Tambourines.

Again you will plant your vineyards on

The mountains of Samaria

And eat from your own gardens there."



This promise was given when Israel was going through a period of 70 years in exile under Babylonian control. If there is hope for Israel, there is hope for you and me.