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Feel Good


It’s so difficult for me to take two steps forward with out taking one step back and even more difficult to explain myself anywhere other than through writing. 

There is this beautiful song 


I can’t write, I can’t paint, I can’t do anything right now but be. And even being is difficult at times. I’ve had to completely readjust my life to a new normal - but haven’t we all?? 

I believe this is where the panic is supposed to set in and it has been manifesting itself in vivid dreams - more like nightmares- and I think it’s the fear coming out in dreams that I am suppressing in day to day realities that I just won’t own up to because I’m oh so tough and resilient. 

We are all scared but we cover it up with humor. Deep down we are terrified. This is getting serious and it’s scary. We are losing the people we love and we are losing lives daily. Numbers are sky rocketing. 

This is the first time that I have lived through something that seems surreal but is reality. Usually it is me living in a false reality and I am trying to convince people that what I see is real. No, not this time. This is all real and we are all in it together. It’s not a delusion, it’s not a dream. It’s real. 

I am keeping my head held high. I am keeping my morale in good spirits. We are all in this together. We will get through this together. 

I hold on to that song Feel Good and I thank God for the people I have in my life right now. 

I am pretty paralyzed with fear. I’m scared and I’m unsure of what lies ahead. My faith is being tested for sure. I worry about my family. I worry about my friends. I just worry. 


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