Disappearing act

Where have I gone? I pulled some sort of disappearing act? The truth is I was putting together and reevaluating pieces of myself again. Is this what I really want to do? Put myself out there for everyone to see my rise and falls?

Yes. It is. No matter how many times I fail I will try again. I pulled a disappearing act. It’s my MO. But here I am again ready to try again and back in action.

Life is full of chaos and it’s full of twists and turns and curve balls flying at you and you have to learn how to play dodge ball in order to survive.

https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1m2zEqznwRLksUFdDOXYO6D0p5MIsYrVL

Perception is everything. It dictates our reality. My perception was a bit fuzzy and I wasn’t sure what direction I was headed. Should I be a mental health advocate or should I keep my mental health private? This all stems from the dating world which I should keep separate from mental health advocacy but who ever I date, there’s a chance he will stumble upon my Twitter and my blog and find out more than I am ready to tell him. That’s a risk I am willing to take.

Mental health is so important.

Comments

Mad

I am sitting here watching Daniel the Tiger and they are singing a song called “Mad” and one thing that I am learning now that I didn’t know then is that it’s ok to be mad at some one. I only used to get mad at inanimate objects because they didn’t have any feelings and I am that sensitive of a person that I knew that they couldn’t get hurt so I would take my feelings of anger out on things not people. I never wanted to hurt a persons feelings because I knew how it felt to be hurt by anger and I didn’t want to make someone feel how I felt. It’s ok to be mad at people. This is how I always would be: You don’t want to walk around being a victim all the time. You don’t want to walk around being hurt all the time. Its ok to be angry. But. And there’s a huge but! It’s not cool to be cruel. Be angry BUT use your anger and let it be a cathartic release to catalyst you into something amazing such as.... painting, sports, music, running. Anything. Something. It’s power. Let it ...

Clarity

I have been a Lone Ranger for quite some time and by that I mean, I haven’t been reading my Bible like I should. I know God is with me. I know His grace covers and protects me, and I know He is sovereign but I have been taking it for granted. I went to my home church this morning. I’ve been going to River Oak but I decided to go to my home church with my mom this morning. The message really spoke to me. Pastor Ray said basically that it’s easy to understand from an outside perspective and make a judgment call but unless you know the context of the situation you don’t understand the concept of the reality of the situation. He preached out of John 4 where Jesus had to go through Samaria which was basically going through a land of the most hated people to get to Galilee. There he met a Samaritan woman by the well who had been married 5 times and living with a man. And he asked her for water. And she was surprised. Then Jesus said if she only knew the gift God had for her...

Falling

You fall flat on your face. So what do you do? Do you sit there and waddle in your misery? Do you sit there and throw a pity party for yourself? Do you sit there and stay down and keep beating a dead horse wondering where you went wrong? NO! You pick yourself back up again. You keep going, no matter how many times you fall you pick yourself up and you keep moving forward. I read a book by John C Maxwell that said you can’t be afraid to make a fool of yourself, and that resonated with in me. You are going to fail if you want to be successful. I have fallen so many times. Three major times to count, but I have gotten back up. For my writing specifically, I have fallen, I have made a fool of myself – I have literally exposed myself and made myself look like an idiot but I have gotten back up and recreated myself. It’s never too late. The beauty, if you can find it, of having Bipolar disorder is that you literally fall flat on your face several times and you build a level of ...

Melody Holley

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