Skip to main content

One Hit Wonders



Why the need for distraction? Here is some true transparency. 

I have been on a dating spree since two Monday’s ago. And they have all been one hit wonders. Which means, I think we are having a great time... then they ghost me. 

This is a hard hit on someone’s self esteem who spent a lot of time developing her self esteem over the course of a year. It makes you wonder what is wrong with me? 

I have spent a year developing my self esteem and self worth only for it to be torn down in a matter of two weeks. And it’s time for me to rebuild it again. 

I have turned into someone I used to be, not someone I want to be or someone I am. 

I have lost sight of my dreams, my goals my purpose and turned my validation on that of a mans opinion and I know I am much stronger than that. I have fought so hard to not revolve my world around the ideology of a mans viewpoint. So why am I struggling so fiercely?

Because I let my guard down. Proverbs 4:23 says “above all else, guard your heart for it is the well spring of life” and I tried to play the heart breaker. Hell, I wore that mask like a pro. Then I ended up eating Ben and Jerry’s Salted Caramel Core every night after I thought the night before a date went well and I heard crickets. 

I suppose I set myself up for this. If you can’t handle the heat, don’t walk in the fire. Yet, I keep doing it over and over again. I am not a stupid woman, I am not a desperate to find love woman, I am a woman who wears her heart on her sleeve for sure. 

I can definitely stand independent of a man, and that’s the direction I think I’m going to put my focus on right now. I am going to focus on myself. If my one hit wonders come back around, I will have to really weigh the pros and cons of risking putting my self confidence and self worth out on a limb to only be an option in their book. It doesn’t feel good. 

There is only one guy I would make any exception for,  because there’s always an exception to the rule and this guy I felt I had a strong connection with

Love always. I took this picture today before I thought this through. It’s the fakest smile in the world. 
https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1f3A5BVukTW27CKq2UVFbU_a6s7MJKQ6m

The sign should say always love yourself. 

Today in church we learned about what can happen when you lay your life down for God. And that it’s not about your ability. It’s about you availability. That is what I am going to chase after, God. Because His love never fails. His love is relentless. It’s everlasting. 

I am so far from the perfect Christian. In fact I’m going to share a video that drops the F bomb. But I love God with all my heart. And it’s time to chase a man who will chase after me too. It’s time to love something deeply that won’t hurt me. It’s also time for me to love myself. 



So it’s time to re-center and refocus. I want to be a doctor one day. I want to be a therapist. I want to write books. I want to be a mental health advocate and I want to be an inspiration to people. I have been given a gift to write and I will continue to use it to encourage people to survive what I’ve gone through. 

So a bit of advice for those upset with the dating game, take a time out, and effing love yourself.

There is nothing wrong with you. You are worthy. You are special. You are unique. You are wonderful. If they don’t see it, it’s their loss. You have so much to offer someone, and one day the right person will come along and they will realize that and they won’t take that for granted. They will sweep you off your feet. 

You, my dear, are a creature unlike any other. 

Don’t you ever forget that. Just plant Taylor Swifts song in your brain and play it on repeat. I will even post the lyrics so you can memorize them. 

I promise that you'll never find another like me
I know that I'm a handful, baby, uh
I know I never think before I jump
And you're the kind of guy the ladies want
(And there's a lot of cool chicks out there)
I know that I went psycho on the phone
I never leave well enough alone
And trouble's gonna follow where I go
(And there's a lot of cool chicks out there)
But one of these things is not like the others
Like a rainbow with all of the colors
Baby doll, when it comes to a lover
I promise that you'll never find another like
Me-e-e, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
I'm the only one of me
Baby, that's the fun of me
Eeh-eeh-eeh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Now recognize there is no one like you. There will never be another you. You are pretty incredible. Don’t give up hope and keep that light shining. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Mad

I am sitting here watching Daniel the Tiger and they are singing a song called “Mad” and one thing that I am learning now that I didn’t know then is that it’s ok to be mad at some one.  I only used to get mad at inanimate objects because they didn’t have any feelings and I am that sensitive of a person that I knew that they couldn’t get hurt so I would take my feelings of anger out on things not people.  I never wanted to hurt a persons feelings because I knew how it felt to be hurt by anger and I didn’t want to make someone feel how I felt.  It’s ok to be mad at people. This is how I always would be: You don’t want to walk around being a victim all the time. You don’t want to walk around being hurt all the time. Its ok to be angry. But. And there’s a huge but! It’s not cool to be cruel. Be angry BUT use your anger and let it be a cathartic release to catalyst you into something amazing such as.... painting, sports, music, running. Anything. Something. It’s power. Let it ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Clarity

I have been a Lone Ranger for quite some time and by that I mean, I haven’t been reading my Bible like I should. I know God is with me. I know His grace covers and protects me, and I know He is sovereign but I have been taking it for granted.  I went to my home church this morning. I’ve been going to River Oak but I decided to go to my home church with my mom this morning.   The message really spoke to me. Pastor Ray said basically that it’s easy to understand from an outside perspective and make a judgment call but unless you know the context of the situation you don’t understand the concept of the reality of the situation.  He preached out of John 4 where Jesus had to go through Samaria which was basically going through a land of the most hated people to get to Galilee. There he met a Samaritan woman by the well who had been married 5 times and living with a man. And he asked her for water. And she was surprised. Then Jesus said if she only knew the gift God had for her...
Post a Comment
Read more

Feelings

We all have feelings. We all have emotions. Some run deeper than other and some are just surface level ideologies that you can learn to compartmentalize into nice little neat boxes and forget about for a while. What happens when those feeling overwhelm us and we can’t understand how to cope with them? What happens when we sink so low that we feel abandoned by God? What do we do then? How do we deal with our emotions without allowing them to control us? How do we allow ourselves to properly feel and let go while still praising our creator? Let’s take a close look at the story of Joseph. Joseph was loved by his father because he was the first born of the woman he worked so hard to marry Rachel.  Out of 12 brothers, he was the favorite. Because he was the favorite, his brothers were jealous. Then one day, Joseph told his brothers about a dream he had about his brothers bowing down to him. This put his brothers a little over the edge. He then told his brothers another dream about ...
Post a Comment
Read more