Oceans

Life is a mystery. It is the great unknown. We really don’t know what tomorrow brings. I didn’t know what was happening to me when I sat in the doctors office with Dr Faulkenstein in fetal position. 

He asked me where my dad was. I replied “he’s in the Oval Office.” I literally thought my dad was in the CIA and he was connected to President Barack Obama. I specifically remember on the drive to the doctors office writing an encrypted message in a Manila envelope labeled “Disclaimer” and handing it to the lawn boys on my way out of my neighborhood. 

That was my very first experience with a delusional episode which is a common signifier of Bipolar type 1. 

Symptoms started weeks before that, but escalated into a full blown manic episode. Another doctor who specialized in psychiatric care tried to give me water and crackers but I was convinced that he was “in on the plan” so they gave me medicine. Which I complied with. And I got better. 

There’s more to the story which will unravel as my blogs progress. 

I am listening to Oceans, a worship song. And I am just so amazed by how Gods sovereign hand has always been my guide. How He has been with me through all of my experiences. 

I have gone through plenty of therapy and doctors visits and I am so stable on my medication and have been for 4 years, and they say if you comply with your meds you will never experience another delusion. God is so good. I have countless stories to share where my life could have been put in great danger. And I will share them in time, because I am that bold and shameless. 

God is faithful. 

Life is a mystery, just like Carmen San Diego was a mysterious woman and in honor of her... here is my Carmen San Diego jacket