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Ghosted

I just straight up ghosted everyone! 
https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1dntad6n1hKBLX-dXDlAePSoPsqEsbdnu

I was up to 108 followers on twitter and a following of 50 blog readers and I abandoned them all. And I’ve never felt more liberated. One day I will make my writings public again and share them with everyone but when I write for an audience it loses its authenticity and I get so effing carried away. So I did something for myself. 

https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1oL4pr4o5hSLZn8CvPlEKAbigi-zLZAe1

I’m taking a break from this journaling bull and I’m going to return to art. My other love. 

So for now I am taking a break from writing for an audience, and taking a break from dating apps and focusing on myself. I’m really hoping to hear from someone... but I haven’t since Sunday. But I’m really not trying to date around anymore. Like if things are meant to happen they will. Let’s not try to rush into things. 

Life is a beautiful chaotic mystery and I love seeing the way it unfolds day by day and I love writing it down and blogging about it. I don’t love making it a public display like an animal in a zoo. Although you have plenty of fresh air, it still feels suffocating it’s such a hard feeling to describe but being wide out in the open isn’t a very smart idea. But I’m learning. 

Baby steps. Day by day. 

I’m really like the wind right now and I want to be grounded and stable in who I am as a person before I put myself out there. I keep putting myself out there and taking myself back and I’m sure it’s complicating and confusing. It’s confusing to me. So now I’m just going into hiding where no one can find me. I’m just going to disappear for a while. 

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