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Fine Line


It is very important to inform you, the reader of the realities of a mental illness and the severities of it. I do not want to disillusion you with the upswing of the positivities of thriving with the wellness of having one without showing you the aspects of surviving with one. 

I have been losing sleep for nearly a month now. I have been going through quite a bit of a manic phase which may have contributed to why I have been writing so frequently, and soon enough I will write only periodically. It is how my episodes work. It is very typical of this disorder and it is the reality of this disorder, so while I am in the mood to write, I will write and I will write as frequently as the mood strikes. And when I do not write I will reflect back on the beautiful mess I created when the beauty of my episode struck so magically and created a master piece of reflections to look back on. 

I am not having delusions right now, so that is a major bonus, and if you were to look at me on the outside you wouldn’t think anything at all was wrong. In fact you would surely think, wow this person is just a super positive person and she has great things going on in her life and I am really happy for her! 

But I know this is just an upswing and the realities of it is that there will most likely be a down swing to follow, but the down swing won’t be so hard and such a brutal pill to swallow because I have such a great therapist and great coping mechanisms and such great medications thanks to technology.

There is a fine line you must follow when you have a mental illness, there is a tight rope you must walk, a balance you must find and learning to find that balance is so difficult. It is very fine, it’s like looping a thick piece of yarn through a needle hole, nearly impossible. One day you will get it right. 

You must learn to embrace the journey though. Remain positive, continue seeing the glass as half full and trusting in God. That is the only way you will make it through this life. Life is hard, and you have to play the hand you are dealt, so play it wisely.

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