NYC

In 2013 it happened again. Although this time it was triggered by my intense love for New York City.

My uncle and my aunt took me for my graduation present and spoiled me rotten. We stayed at the Waldorf in the fanciest room with the best walk in shower. And I was treated like a princess. 

The whirlwind of the hustle and bustle just catalysted a trigger in me that sent me into a spiral. When I can back from NYC I started dressing differently and acting differently and I started having delusions of gradious where I thought my dad had contacts watching over my every move. 

I went to NYC April 5-8 and on April 13 the Boston bombing happened and that was when shit hit the fan. I thought I was the suspect they were looking for even though I had done nothing wrong but again with delusions of grandious you think that way. My dad kindly told me I wasn’t special enough and no one was looking for me. 

He knew something was wrong so he took me to the ER where my friend Jordan met me and I am so thankful she did. She has been a huge part of my life. She’s been there through a lot. The doctor sent me to an inpatient treatment center for a week and I got better. 

I was working at Buffalo Wild Wings at the time and I told them I was going to Hawaii for a week. Sure was not. 

It was difficult coming back to work with my head held high. I was embarrassed and ashamed but in the long run it’s made me so much stronger of a person. 

During this episode I remember walking around the neighborhood and throwing my purse in the bushes and holding my bar glow stick up in the air saying I’m ready for you to come and get me and taking my keys and setting them on top of the rock in front of our neighborhood. 

I did some bizarre things. But I did not have control of my mind. I knew what I was doing, I did not know why. I also went on a scavenger hunt to 711 to find my SOS because I was ready to drive off to NYC with him, the only thing is... he had no clue I even like him. 

It was a giant mess and there’s so much more to this story that I will tell at another time